Business Card for the Retired

A smiling, purple haired young lady greeted me at our neighborhood print shop. 

“How can I help you?”

“I would like a cost estimate on a business card. At least I think that’s what I need.”

“It depends on the type of paper, how many colors and how many lines on the card. Do you have something in mind?”

“Well, sort of.  People keep asking me what I have been doing since I retired. There are so many things, I think it would be handy to just hand them a card.  So I came up with this list.” I reached into my purse and handed over a piece of paper with the following: 

                                                

Susan L. Fink

Arthritis fighter, Bible study inviter,

Empty nest crier, unhealthy snack buyer.

Downsizing adviser, off-key harmonizer,

Possessions organizer, slow morning riser.  

   

Ice cream craving satisfier, God’s creation admirer,

Getty music buyer, good causes sympathizer.

Blog author/reporter, Elders transporter,

Washed socks sorter, housework ignorer.

Exercise procrastinator, spouse miscommunicator,

My parents’ visitor, FaceBook contributor.

Books on CD “reader”, wild bird feeder,

Caffeine need-er, flower garden seeder.

Computer breaker, to-do list maker, 

Heirloom collector, friend appreciator.

Corny joke say-er, senior discount saver,

Family time craver, thanks to Jesus pray-er.  

I never did get a business card made, even after talking to the manager, whom the counter girl had quickly called.  As both talked with me they looked a bit scared, but I think they were just confused.

                       Maybe they will understand when they retire.