Virus Thesaurus for Optimists :)

     With the several minutes each day I can ignore the breaking news during this virus crisis, I wonder about the future.  When my great-grandchild sits on my very old and abundant lap, and takes his thumb out of his mouth to ask, “What words came into use during the pandemic of 2020?” will I be able to answer accurately?  For that occasion and for your own crisis crossword puzzle clues use, I developed the following handy guide. (Look for hardcover, high priced version available soon on Amazon.)

Hand Sanitizer:  a small bottle of liquid which, when rubbed on your hands sting all your paper cuts. Because hand sanitizer was made with alcohol and gold, it was difficult to locate.

Hoard/hoarders:  Individuals bought abundant quantities of food and toilet paper to feel in control of the situation. Hoarding is equipping a household of four as if all 30 blood relatives might soon move in with them.  (i.e. be prepared.)

Social Distancing:  A celebratory dream-come-true for introverts. A polite excuse for not seeing/talking to people you always wanted to ignore.

Quarantine:  Isolation from potential virus carriers such as unpleasant to work for bosses, impossibly difficult school teachers,  crabby in-laws, and expensive vacation destinations.  Extended quarantines cause heightened anxiety due to lack of instant gratification capabilities for food/drink items, entertainment, TV sports, and shopping (other than online).

Hand Washing:   The 2020 virus is most noted for the discovery of how hygienically effective hand-washing is done. This was a new habit seen in public bathrooms at this time, although benefits were quickly negated when exiting included a high-use door handle.

Toilet Paper:  (See Hoarding.)  Toilet paper hoarding led to the 2021 discovery of t.p. plant based replacements and increased production of bidets in America.

SAHP:  Formerly SAHM or Stay At Home Mom, this term morphed into SAHP meaning Stay At Home Parent(s). After a week of enacting these roles (see quarantine) and attempting to set up “ routine schedules” and  “family meetings",  most SAHP transformed into: Sick Attitudes Happening w/o Patience.  This  same group of people went on to establish WCAE  (WE CAN’T APPRECIATE YOU ENOUGH!) teacher gift-giving organizations around the world.

Advisory Time Specifications: 

30 minutes –-daily time children allowed parents to do their “work from home” business without interruptions.

1 Hour –- daily length of time spent home schooling, and longest amount of time between each meal/snack.

3 to 4 Hours-- amount of time needed daily to disinfect every person, place and thing brought into the home from the contaminated outside world.

72 Hours ---longest amount of time allowed between taking showers or changing clothes.

Viral Comedy Breaks:  Almost as vital as the cure, it was of critical importance that people seek out (viral comedy break) humor, including forceful belly laughs at least 10 times daily. 

++Most Repeated Quote:  “When this virus situation is over, I am going to appreciate every little thing and promise to get along with everyone!”