Why Empathetic People Need Your Urgent Support During Quarantine

    Are you fortunate enough to have a friend who really connects with you?  Perhaps she is not only ”gets you”, but senses your feelings sometimes before they are shared?

   Do you have a loved one who is so highly sensitive to others’ emotions, he often absorbs those as his own?

   If you have the blessing of these kind of people in your life and they have been socially isolated for more than a few days, they need your help.  NOW.

   When people are highly sensitive to stimuli (including emotions), easily sense the feelings of others, or both of these traits, they need a broad base of continuing support. Without it, especially during times of crises, the brain overload can cause debilitating depression, disease or illness, and overwhelming hopelessness. For Christians, this compassion-fatigue-on-steroids makes it difficult to rely on the “God is in control” aspect of their faith.  Realizing this weakness produces shame and despair.

   Noticing body language, voice inflection and other cues, Justine notices right away when the person she greets at work has something bothering her. Wanting to be an encourager, Justine sincerely wants to find the problem and offer help.  If the conversation ends without answers, she continues to be concerned throughout the day.

   Jacob is lifting weights at the well-sanitized YMCA when tearful emotions overwhelm him. Embarrassed and confused, he goes outside to run, hoping the fresh air and sunshine will help him understand his reaction.  Did the elderly man’s slow gait on the treadmill remind him of his dad’s illness? Or did compassion prick his heart as Jacob noticed the oxygen tank?

   Gladys and her husband are excitedly looking forward to their church opening for public worship.  She has enjoyed the spiritual nourishment provided by her pastor’s on line messages, but so misses seeing other members!  Gladys is blessed with feelings of abundant joy when previously inactive members return to worship.  She can’t stop smiling when young ones belt out a Jesus Loves Me song.  Gladys also mirrors the frustration of a dad’s struggle with his two year old in the pew ahead.  Her heart takes on a heaviness when a recently-grieved member cries through a hymn.  Like a living example of “rejoice with those who are rejoicing; weep with those who are weeping” (Romans 12:15)  this caring Christian woman’s emotions drain her energy.

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   How does Justine stop being overwhelmed when she knows several lonesome people who are not allowed visitors in care facilities, and she hears the anxious concerns of health care worker friends?

   How does Jacob cope with the overload of continual coronavirus updates, theories, and opposing expert advice that literally makes his stomach ache?  It’s a losing battle for him to fall asleep while brainstorming ways to assist his unemployed family members.

   Gladys wonders why her life-long faith isn’t deep and wide enough to cast all her cares on her Savior, without hauling them back into her lap.

   Since March 15th of this year the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and other hotlines have experienced a frightening spike in numbers of people asking for help. Those in the helping professions, such as pastors, are unfortunately not immune to this kind of despair.  

   If you multiply the concerns of Justine, Jacob and Gladys times the number of members in your congregation, you can almost imagine the scope of your pastor’s compassion burden.

 

What Can Be Done?

1.    Pray!   Ask God to show you the people, the problems and how you can help.   “The Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.”   John 15:16

 

2.   Review the Savior’s promises of forgiveness, individualized care (even the hairs on your head!) and how he remains in control.  Personally and mindfully study God’s Word.

 

3.   Learn more about HSPs (highly sensitive people) and empaths (the psychological term for empathetic individuals). 

  4. Assertively reach out.  Communicate in person with social distancing measures, call, zoom, or whatever it might take.

  

5.   Listen.  Remind them of God’s promises.  Pray for them and with them.  OFTEN.

 

6.   STRONGLY encourage self care*.  If they don’t want to do it for themselves, ask them to do it for you!  *Urge or help them make up a daily schedule, eat foods of nutritional value, get enough exercise and sleep, get outside to enjoy God’s creation, and seek out a mental health professional.  Offer to be their accountability partner for these life-saving health priorities.

 

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Quarantine isolation, empathy for suffering people, and no current answers to the virus and its uncertainties, are urgent reasons for each of us to offer consistent encouragement to the highly sensitive people we love. Christ’s love compels us.  

 

Who will you contact today? `