Go Ask Your Mother!

 (Originally published in Epoch Times, January 10, 2022)

My mom’s pink and white pajamas fit me well. The soft material makes me feel surrounded by one of her hugs. Because she had lost a lot of weight, I inherited some of her barely worn clothes. Communication was now muddled from my mother’s pain and medications. My regrets grew as her health declined. Why hadn’t I spent more time, asked questions, and learned more about her life?

My encouragement to young people is this: have an urgency in treating the elderly as fascinating, living history lessons. If you have a special interest or curiosity about a certain time period, war, or political action, find someone who experienced it. What were the activities of daily living like 60 or more years ago, and what hardships did they include? What reactions did they see when a war ended, man reached the moon, or other noteworthy events? How large was their childhood home, and how many people lived in it? What was their first job, and who was a mentor? Ask them how difficult it has been to adjust to a fast-changing world of technology.

If you don’t have the blessing of older folks in your family, ask a church, senior center, or assisted living home for a recommendation. I’ve been surprised at the accuracy of memories and the honesty of feelings shared. Often, people will feel valued as you ask questions and show interest. Every aged person needs that. 

Perhaps an “oldie but goodie” can teach you a hands-on skill that not too many people have. There will always be something new to learn. And if it’s from your own relative, you might learn about yourself!

Susan L. Fink, Wisconsin