Lessons on Regret

 

Digging in the garden, no matter how hard the clumps of soil, he was optimistic. In Wisconsin, Spring brings welcomed reprieve from the winter cold that requires layers of clothes and proper boots.  Evening might still be cold in early May, but readying the flower beds and vegetable rows gave hope. In stead of walking out of his garden that day, my friend stepped into heaven.

We might know Bible passages of comfort and peace regarding death*.  Still, those closest to the loved one experience a mix of shock, sadness and denial. Even when confident of Jesus’ agape care, working  “all things for good”, the Christian may be surprised at the intensity of pain for such earthly loss.  

The friend who was recently welcomed into eternity by Jesus, was the person who welcomed my husband and I when we moved to Detroit. His pastor’s heart demonstrated concern for us and all in our congregation of dwindling membership.  Despite the depression of the area, his Gospel kindness, teaching and preaching clearly reflected God’s light.

  

It’s difficult to keep up a close friendship when someone moves. My pastor/friend and his family moved a state away to serve a new church. In a few years we followed, but not to the same city.  We got together for a meal or two, encouraging with words and laughs.

When did our close connection begin to diminish?  Was it during our kids’ grade school years of homework and the multitude of activities?  When our teens and theirs were in different schools did the busyness quell adult social occasions?

Somehow, the heart-sharing, in-person conversations morphed into occasional emails and short notes on Christmas cards. And here I am today, not knowing when that stopped, saddened by the loss of opportunity.

What were the last words I said or sent to my friend?  Words of encouragement or complaint?  Sharing blessings in my life and asking (caring) about his?   Did I ask him about his struggles or did I talk about mine?  (The latter topic was more likely.) I don’t remember.

My memories are foggy, and so I have regrets. 

                                 *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Dear Lord, Is there a lesson in every death?  To remind us how quickly life may fly away and end?  Teach me to make the most of relationships and submit each conversation to your will.  Priorities change drastically in a funeral parlor.

Forgive me for my self-centered postponement of reaching out in love. Enable me to speak your Truth with boldness (Acts 4:29) so future opportunities are not missed. 

Thank you for hearing and answering each prayer because of all Jesus accomplished for me, a sinner. 

AMEN

                               *     *       *       *      *     *     *

·              John 11:25-26 [Jesus said,] I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.

·              Psalm 62:1 My soul finds rest in God alone: my salvation comes from him.

·              I Thessalonians 4:13-14 NLT  And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.

·              Revelation 21:4 There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things will have passed away.