“Could
you find and organize volunteers to serve Lent suppers?”
“You
enjoy kids. Can you take my three for a
couple hours so I can get caught up with some things?”
When believers see a need, aren’t we supposed to
respond promptly in loving provisional ways?
Is saying no to requests selfish? Moses felt this way, and he literally
had millions of people asking him for help. Talk about being a candidate for
burnout! God used Jethro (Moses’s father-in law) to warn, “What you are doing
in not good. You will certainly wear out both yourself and these people who are
with you” (Exodus 18:17).
When my congregation, pastor, Christian
brother or sister solicits use of my gifts, I recognize it is God pleasing to
serve. Most often I find satisfaction
and joy in giving “especially to
those who belong to the household of faith.” But
doesn’t the first part of this Galatians passage; “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people” ( 6:10), suggest
there may be some inopportune occasions when I don’t help out? For example, if
I am not trained as a lifeguard, nor have the proper floatation devices, my
attempt to save a struggling, drowning person will most likely cause both of us
to sink.
Most often, I feel honored
when someone asks me for help. To be bluntly honest, my affirmative answer is often
not because of Christian commitment, but due to my desire to feel appreciated and
purposeful. Seeking validation, I don’t want to disappoint anyone by turning
down a request. A commitment is made
before judging if it fits my schedule or self-care requirements. Then of course
it’s too embarrassing for me to back out. Have you said yes to impress others or avoid
their disapproval?
If we answer affirmatively to
every favor asked of us, what are we saying no to?
Are you able to say no to a serving opportunity, within
or outside of the church? Do you
continue to do tasks you used to enjoy but now dread? It’s
not only OK to know your limits and move on, it’s healthy! Ask yourself if you
are in the best position to serve a specific need at this time. Do you know
your gifts and strengths well enough to know which jobs are a good fit? Thinking
you need to volunteer for something since no one else has stepped up, or because
you’ve always done it before, is not a prescriptive reason. Might you be
depriving someone else of an opportunity to serve? Lack of confidence along
with unknown expectations, most often stops people from offering assistance. Could
you personally encourage and mentor someone to take your place?
“For we have many members in one body, and
not all the members have the same function. In the same way, though we
are many, we are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. We have different gifts, according to the
grace God has given us” (Romans 12: 4-6)
Since God has designed a body of believers, each with different
functions, it affirms that no one person should do it all—not even a pastor!
But how do you know what responsibilities God specifically wants
you to do?
When someone sees you in action and says, “You are good at that!”
do you take the compliment as confirmation you’re doing God’s will? If you enjoy a certain task and it comes
easily for you to do, it is most likely a gift from God. Let prayer, Christian
counsel, and Scripture study direct and bless your serving decisions.
Most importantly, remember Christian service is not a have to, it’s a thank you to the One who enables it.
--Taken from the book. Self-Care: Selfish or Sacred? An
Interactive Guide to Myths and Misunderstandings (Available through www.SusanLFink.com)
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